Abusive relationships are characterized by Power and Control

The Power and Control wheel represents the different tactics an abuser uses to keep their partner in the relationship…

The Power and Control wheel is a helpful tool to understand the patterns of abusive and violent behaviors which abusers use to establish and maintain control over their partner. The inner ring of the wheel shows the subtle and ongoing tactics, while the outer ring shows the obvious physical and/or sexual violence we can easily recognize as abuse.

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Subtle and covert means of power and control:

Using economic abuse

Preventing you from getting or keeping a job. Making you ask them for money. Giving you an allowance. Taking your money. Not letting you know about or have access to family income.

 

Minimizing, denying and blaming

Making light of the abuse and not taking concerns about it seriously. Saying the abuse didn’t happen. Shifting responsibility for abusive behavior. Saying you caused it.

Using coercion and threats

Making and/or carrying out threats to do something to hurt you. Threatening to leave, commit suicide, or report you to welfare. Making you drop charges. Forcing you to do illegal things.

 

Using children

Making you feel guilty about the children. Using the children to relay messages. Using visitation to harass you. Threatening to take the children away.

Emotional abuse

Putting you down. Making you feel bad about yourself. Calling you names. Making you think you’re crazy. Playing mind games. Humiliating you. Making you feel guilty.

 

Using privilege

Exploiting societal privilege they may have over you. Treating you like a servant, making all decisions without consulting you, threatening to ‘out’ you, belittling your culture or traditions. Using offensive words to describe you.

Using intimidation

Making you afraid by using looks, actions, and gestures. Smashing things in the household. Destroying your property. Abusing shared pets in front of you. Displaying weapons.

 

Using isolation

Controlling what you do, who you see and talk to, what you read, and where you go. Limiting outside involvement. Using jealousy to justify actions.

Adapted from the power and control wheel developed by Domestic Abuse Intervention Program.

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